Contemplating Thoughts on Despair

Some of us are thinking that thoughts of despair have never been more prominent in our lifetime than during the current pandemic (Covid-19).  I, however, have been thinking about how God takes these seasons of despair and shows us how truly powerful He really is.  We are never more keenly aware of His divine care than when he lifts us out of despair and shows Himself strong on our behalf.  His mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness.  I know this firsthand because He has lifted me out of despair and refreshed new hope within.  Hope in the midst of helplessness is invaluable.  It keeps us moving forward towards new beginnings and revisiting losses with thoughts of restoration. Only God can lift the human soul out of the depths of despair and give joy beyond human reasoning.  Thank you, Lord, that I am able to focus on your great mercy and power!  You alone are worthy to be praised!

Thoughts of a CRAZY Nona

When the grandbabies made their appearance into my life, the name "Nona" also appeared.  It means grandmother to my grandchildren; it means madam or lady in Sinhalese.   So, I am challenged to be a ladylike grandmother.  I am also a multi-circuit thinker or processer.  I need at least two or three circuits of thought running in my brain at all times.  I love having two or three different conversations at once.  I leave one conversation and move to another and back again without even offering any explanation to those around me.  To my daughters and grandchildren this seems quite normal and they move seamlessly in mutliple conversations at once with me.  We sometimes do have to explain to the third party involved "oh, that was the other conversation" during an exchange of thoughts.  I use to try to reign my thoughts or brain process in but found it very stifling and unproductive for me personally.  It can be very random to the listener standing by, as I might pick up the conversation(s) after a long gap without any explanation at all.  I am also very good at stashing emotions in compartments until later.  It is very difficult for a "strong woman" to be perceived as emotionally tender or even fragile and as a result we are often the target of unfiltered hurtful outbursts.  Now, I have unwrapped for you several tidbits that make up my craziness in an attempt for you to be better able to navigate through my posts.  I hope that it will also explain my crazy writing skills as I use lots of run-on sentences and poorly constructed sentences.  I might add here that in secondary school I won a financial scholarship for an essay that I had written.  It was because of the steady coaching of my English Literature teacher, Mrs. Gertrude Gundacker.  Now, although I am attempting to help you understand my writing skills I find it oh so comforting to know a God who is not random in HIS thinking, in HIS ways or in HIS love for each of us as mere mortals.  HE is intentional and the Bible states HE does not change.  HE is the same yesterday, today and forever.  There is great comfort in knowing that!  Be blessed today as you navigate through your own thoughts and  find peace in the thoughts God has for you.  Thoughts to bless you and give you a future.  If you were able to navigate this post then you will need no further explanation to my craziness.

Putting Some Thoughts Together!

It is sometimes hard to be creative when our contact with the outside world is limited.  I remember when my children were little and I would be at home all day with them by myself.  Their Dad was off working so hard to provide for us that he often spent twelve hours a day on his job.  I would literally meet him at the door upon his arrival home and practically throw the baby at him, why?  I felt I was disappearing as a person.  I longed for adult conversation and something other than the mundane need to feed and keep another human being clean and safe.  Now, with Covid 19,  I could very easily slip into wondering if there is any reason to get dressed, to continue on with what I called the normal everyday of life.  In the midst of all of this I have made a discovery....at my age we might all applaud and say its about time.  My thoughts today ran to the principle of scripture that says I must die to myself if I really want to live.  All of THIS life I have lived and am living has been aimed at one Eternal Thought....to live I must die.  Die to what? My own selfish desires to be creative, to be ever learning, to success as I have defined it for myself, to be liked, even to be loved, to find my place of value in society, to make a difference, to leave a legacy and finally to be valued by others.  I must surrender with joy to the Sovereignity of the Almighty God.  It is in the totality of submission that I find HIM, the author and giver of life.  True life that produces honesty, respect, gentleness, self-control, love, joy, peace, goodness, meekness, temperance, humility, kindness, understanding and compassion.  I started to put some thoughts together about creativity today because I have the best of intentions of writing more consistently on this blog, but I find it difficult to manage my own creativity.  I can barely manage my desire to be Christ-like above all else.  So, I will leave you to ponder this thought today, are we as followers of Christ willing to be conformed to the likeness of HIM no matter what the making process looks like?  I suggest that today that we all find the courage to be totally honest with ourselves in the light of the Sovereign rule of God!  More thoughts in a day or two if I can manage to put them together creatively or elsewise.

Again with the Thoughts

Here I am writing about my thoughts after some extended time away from blogging.  Today, my thoughts are simply "what happened to life as we knew it?"  Many people have asked me if I think this is the endtimes and is Jesus coming soon.  I can tell you this, we are all closer to the 2nd coming than we have ever been,  but the bible also says "no one knows the hour or the day".  So, there are things I do not know and will not ever know.  My thought for today is:  knowing Jesus is the most important thing in my life and I can face whatever the future holds because He is with me!  I pray you will find your thoughts turning towards your creator!  Tune in again real soon as I will endeavor to write about my thoughts in a day or two.

Aging Thoughts

As I age I realize my thoughts are not necessarily aging but my desire to keep my thoughts to myself is aging or maturing.  Of course, I would like to believe is is maturing because that would actually point to some positive choices on my part.  What I do comprehend is that I am content with my convictions on most subjects and that having others agree with me is not of the importance it used to be.  I have matured enough to realize that I cannot change anyone, their thoughts or their behavior.  Personal choice is simply that, personal choice.  At this stage in my life I am using more of my energy to discuss the consequences of choices and the benefits of biblical behavior.  I hope to finish my course and to finish well.  The last few weeks have afforded me the opportunity to hold several of my thoughts captive for my own amusement and not to take in the thoughts of others lest I be robbed of my own inner peace.  Having said all of that, I hope you were able to follow my aging thoughts to this simply observation..... we all have opinions and we are all welcome to our own opinions on ANY and  ALL subjects.  Even God does not force HIS thoughts on us, we get to choose.

Yeah, I still have some thoughts!

Yes, I know six months have passed since I posted anything on my blog.  My thoughts are obsessive as I wonder if we will ever find everything we have lost.  Glasses, keys, and even money.  I am always amazed when I consider what is happening in our daily lives and how it parallels with my knowledge of God and how he relates to mankind.  We are never lost from HIS eyesight.  HIS eye is upon the sparrow why not me?  He knows where I am and what I am encountering.  There is comfort in knowing I am always in HIS care.  My ability to misplace things is not reflective of God's nature at all.  It is reflective of the fact that Popa and I are aging.

Jet lagged thoughts!

Jet lagged means off kilter, out of usual time sequence.  When you travel half-way around the world in a 36 hour time frame it is not hard to understand that the body often struggles to catch up with the rhythm of planet earth.  Often I think of God's perspective as I write and I realize just how majestic our maker is.  HE is ever present in every time zone!  No jet lag in the spiritual realm! God is all knowing and all powerful, ever ready to participate in our lives.  I am grateful as I lay around for three days trying to recover after the long flight from our home in Sri Lanka to our home in Oregon that God is not bound by the confines of time and distance.  Popa and I arrived less than 2 days ago and are enjoying the spaciousness of our home, the lack of barking dogs, and most of all the absence of humidity.  There is a blessing in the lack of schedules, the luxury of a bathtub, and convenience of all night shopping for our favorite food.   I am not in a hurry to form rational thoughts, just want to enjoy the simple ease of sleeping and eating whenever I want.  I am sure that time will sort out the jet lag and I will once again be required to give an account of my life.  Thanks to my creator for HIS grace even in the mundane recovery from jet lag.  Whatever we face, wherever we are, whenever we are in need God is an ever present help.  Call upon HIM, He will hear you and answer!

Fleeting Thoughts

WOW!  It has been more than six months since I posted anything on my blog.  Not only are my thoughts fleeting but so is my memory.  I had to try several times to login today.  Life is compiled of human nature and its predictability.  The newness of blogging has long since passed and I find it very difficult to remember to write anything of interest.  However, the last six months have been filled with  travel and adventure.  In January, made two trips to Houston, Texas.  First trip was to a family reunion on my Mother's side; I had less than one week's notice but was able to get a flight and enjoy seeing some cousins I had not seen in 48 years.  Spent a few days with my aunt and the flew back to Oregon.  Within ten days of arriving home we flew to Houston again, this time to cruise the Carribbean with K'sh and family.  It was a wonderful trip, we tried snuba in Cozumel, zip lined in Honduras and shopped in Belize.  Enjoyed time in Bull Head City with family.  Made several trips to Portland and then once again boarded the plane to head back to Sri Lanka in February.  In March we flew to Thailand with Koy'a and family for a wonderful week in Krabi, it was breathtakingly beautiful.  I encountered a snake in early March and ended up with a fractured foot but not a snake bite.    Pain and swelling have been my companions daily but their welcome is up and I hope to leave them behind shortly.  All of this is fleeting and yet it makes up my life; I do not want to leave a legacy of travel but of compassion and kindness.  I struggle to leave an eternal mark that is not fleeting.  Oh, to be made into the likeness of Christ is the cry of my heart.  May my desire not be fleeting and my resolve sure as I confront my own humanity.

Delayed Thoughts

Once again I am posting from Sri Lanka.  We arrived two days ago after a short summer in Oregon; time seems to be passing all too quickly.  I am aware of a change that is taking place within Poppa and I, yesterday we were able to talk each other through some difficulties and find ourselves content at the end of the day with a bit of "wisdom" gained.  We chalked it up to our age.  Aging is the process that begins at birth and yet we are all surprised when the practicalities of that process become evident physically.  I often say "wouldn't it be amazing to have the wisdom of age when we are young and full of vigor?"  Truth is, that young vigor is often blindly impulsive and able to go where old age thinkers dare to tread.  While youth is fleeting so is old age, time is passing for all of us.  There is ONE for whom time holds no sway, our eternal GOD.  HE never changes; HE remains faithful throughout all time and HE actually holds time in HIS hand.  Yeah God!  Why am I sweating the small stuff?  Thank you for allowing time to be our teacher and your grace to be our courage to try again after every failed attempt.  You are an AWESOME God and whether we are in Oregon or Sri Lanka you remain the same.

Birthday Thoughts

Today is my granddaughter's fourteenth birthday, she is an absolutely a joy to the heart of her Nona and Poppa.  We are so blessed to have her in our lives, she brings a sometimes surprising look at life to those around her.  She loves reading and getting to know the characters in the books. She has managed to spark an interest in Dr. Who for her Poppa; that equates to lots of late night TV and popcorn with surround sound pounding through the walls.  She has a style of her own that she confidently shares with those within view.  We love her and are so happy she loves us.  Her paternal grandmother is most assuredly one of her favorite people and the humor they share is a delight to watch.  We, the unbiased grandparents, find her adorable, smart, funny and delightful.  God has blessed us with her and we in turn ask that HE bless her this year with HIS favor.

Long Over Due Thoughts

Once again too much time has elapsed since I last signed into my blog and posted my thoughts.  I have tried to make things easier and have instead ended up creating more than one account, OH lucky me.  Tomorrow is a new day and I will endeavor to delete the unnecessary account.  Some of our best endeavors do not turn out the way we had hoped.  All of God's endeavors are perfect, his creative powers are sure.  So...for tonight I am going to rest in knowing a perfect creator and ask for his favor and blessing upon tomorrows endeavors.

Thinking I should post some thoughts!

November 2014 and I am once again wondering where this year has gone.  Being busy has some advantages, one of them being that time passes quickly.  Of course there is more to life then being busy, but serving God and others is one of the best forms of busyness.  Looking forward to a few weeks of respite with our family; even looking forward to the gloomy winter weather in Oregon.  The love of God, family and friends makes our lives very rewarding and we will return to the sunshine in January 2015 with a renewed source of purpose and strength.   I pray each of you will find the joy of Christ in this season and enjoy the passing of time with a sense of fulfillment.

Glorious Thought, I was able to sign into my Blog

Time passes once again without consideration for those who have won or lost.  I just spent three weeks sleeping in a bed other than my own.  I traveled to see my Aunt in Texas and then on to see my daughter in Tennessee and alas to Idaho to bury my mother-in-law.  Two events were planned the third was thrust upon me without warning.  While cabin camping in a remote state park in Tennessee I received the news that death was imminent for my husband's mother.  Life is the continual ebb and flow.  A new baby in the family and the death of a mother all in the short span of a summer.  Ultimately, God is in control of mankind's days and we have the privilege to trust in His divine wisdom.  I am keenly aware of the need to be immersed in the presence of a Holy God, it is that presence that sustains in the time of difficulty.  May we each one find God to be our source of strength, hope and courage as the days ahead unfurl before us.

Questionable thoughts!

After spending almost an hour trying to figure out how to sign into this blog site I have to wonder if I should be posting anything.  I hate change, the older I get the more I hate it.  I had this system down, and then of course they go and change it so I have to really think, I mean really exercise the gray matter between my ears to figure it out.  Let me just tell you, just because I got here once does not mean I could do it again with any ease.  I sometimes tell myself, my brain does not consider my age but my body reminds me daily.  Then signing into my one and only blog becomes an overwhelming challenge and I know I have only been fooling myself.  My brain is aging right along with the rest of me.

Time is passing all too quickly,  my grandchildren are taller and more mature than they were in January.  My neighbor across the street fighting cancer with three children as her audience is losing hope as her body deteriorates by the moment.  Some days the sadness of the inequality of life seems to loom heavily over my thoughts.  I think that is why the Bible clearly says "hope deferred makes the heart sick".  A sick heart needs the spark of its creator if it is to rebound from the brink of disaster.  My thought at this moment is I am glad I have an anchor in the ONE, Christ Jesus.  HE is the only  unchanging variable in my life.  I can only encourage each of you to make sure your soul is anchored in the Savior.  May you find the peace and grace of God to be sufficient in every circumstance.  More next time, if I can find my blog and remember my sign-in.

Quiet Thoughts!

I cannot believe that more than three months have passed and I am just now getting my thoughts together to put into this blog post.  Maybe I am just fooling myself and I have no thoughts to put together.  Time has given me the opportunity to reflect and I realize how important it is to take the time to quiet oneself. The scripture says in quiet and confidence HE will restore our strength. Isaiah 30:15  I am finding my inner spirit is strengthen in quietness.  At times I have felt it is the wisdom of age that is finally dawning on me but I am finding there is a restoration that takes place when I am able to quiet myself and wait patiently.  Maybe that is wisdom, to know it is necessary to be still.  The body moves ever toward the end while the mind longs for time to stand still closer to the beginning.   There is a disharmony of sorts as the outside ages day by day and the mind struggles to hang onto the youth of days gone past.  As I write I am aware of the ramblings of a NONA being portrayed as lucid thoughts worthy of paper.  However, this is my blog and I am the master of the pages presented so I allow myself free range.  My thoughts are MINE and it becomes my responsibility to take every thought captive. So with that in mind, I must quiet myself and sign out of this blog.

Thoughts, who has thoughts?

My thoughts have not been recorded for some time now.  Why?  Good question.  Not sure I have a good answer.  Life gets busy, well hectic.  The unexpected crowds in and one must wonder if things will ever return to normal.  Then, there is the thought "what is normal"?  I am sure I am the last one who should answer that.  Home from Sri Lanka for the holidays with our Oregon family and having some blood pressure issues which my doctor says might be "stress";  my immediate thought is "you think, try walking a mile in my shoes".  Any mile I have trod over the last 10 years would be enough to destroy me if it had not been for the faithfulness of God.  HE has been there when I could think, when I could not think and even when I was afraid to think.  Many times I thought my brain would explode from over thinking and then God would gently tug on my spirit and let me know HE was still in control and that HE would never leave me nor forsake me. I am grateful HIS thoughts include me and that I am always on HIS mind.  Looking forward with HOPE to 2014 and all that it will hold for Popa and I.  We are truly blessed and we realize more and more each day that God has orchestrated an incredible journey for us.  May we be found presenting Christ at every opportunity.  Think on HIS faithfulness and you will find yourself in an attitude of gratitude.

Thoughts, forgotten to post!

I don't know why I have forgotten to post low these past several months, but alas I have.  Could it be the dramatic, traumatic events of life have overwhelmed me?  I wonder?  Papa diagnosed with cancer, surgery, motorcycle accident, and my teeth needing a complete re-vamping.  Been a little busy when you add in all the fun things, a week at lake Shasta with the six Oregon grandkids, a trip to LA to get a new visa and two visits to see grandma Mary in the last six months.  Have seen good friends and shared laughs with those passing through.  Life is life, full of ups and downs.  Events all wrapped up in the perspective of good and bad.  I have found that if I don't like my reality I need to change my perspective.  God is good and HIS plans are always for my good, to give me a HOPE and a future.  I think I will find my rest in HIM today and think on HIS goodness.  HE is my forever, faithful Father and Friend.

What THOUGHTS! I need a new mind.

It took me so long to sign into my blog today that I am wondering if any of my thoughts reflect my current ability to remember. Uhhhhhhhh........lets hope not.

I wanted to share some thoughts regarding a blessed home going celebration we attended yesterday for a dear saint and long time friend.  His family is a great testimony of his heart for God.  All his children and grandchildren are serving the Lord and are in love with Jesus.  Everything about them reflects the essence of God; what an awesome heritage to observe.  Interestingly enough, his two youngest daughters use to babysit our three daughters and I use to tell their Mom that if my girls turned out to be like her girls I would have done a great job.  Yesterday, her girls told me how impacted they were by my girls earnest prayers before bed and how they were convinced my little girls personally knew Jesus at the age of four.  Perspective is a great tool God adjusts to let us know that HE has been at work, is at work and will be working in our lives.  I am blessed to have wonderful daughters and son-in-laws, great grandchildren and a wonderful extended family.  God help me to leave behind a legacy of loving Jesus and living in HIS will.

Thoughts of time!

Time is passing by so quickly I can hardly keep track of the date. I need to keep some sort of track as Popa has a doctor's appointment next week and it has already been postponed once. He keep asking me what day it is and I keep saying "I don't have a clue". "Uh-duh", he says back at me. He has known for some time that I don't have a clue and is just happy that I have come to realize it for myself. HA! (and we aren't talking about the date here) I often find myself confounded by the fact that God is omnipotent, omnipresent, and the all knowing sovereign ruler of the universe. No time constraint in HIS frame of reference. HE was, HE is, and HE always will be. HE never changes, HE never leaves me, HE simply is present. I am grateful for HIS constant care in my life and that nothing takes HIM by surprise. HIS commitment to be "in the know" never changes, HE knows my name, my whereabouts, and what time it is.  Nothing takes HIM by surprise; so glad HE is in control!

Once again Island Thoughts

Just so happens we find ourselves living on this island several months out of each year. Because it is a small island, we find ourselves surrounded by masses of people which takes some getting use to. The driving is bizarre, the weather is HOT and HUMID, the food is spicy and the people are God's creation. It is the people that pull at our heart strings and compel us to make the long journey over and over again. Of course, the people on the other side pull at our heart strings and we find ourselves eager to see them and spend time with them. I often say "there is nothing quite like grandchildren." They are a lot like God, they love you even when you don't deserve it and they bring utter delight to your life. It is sometime possible to feel isolated when you live on an island but the truth is that God never isolates HIMSELF from us, HE is ever present, ever faithful and ever willing to hear our prayers. If you are feeling isolated by circumstances today, just whisper a prayer and HE, the God of all creation, will comfort you and envelope you with HIS love. Remember there are two sides to almost everything! For us it is an island side with those who love us and a USA side filled with those whose love makes our world go around.