My thoughts are of my daughters.

I don't wonder if any other Mom could be as proud of her children as I am of mine. My daughters are the richness of my life, their children are bountiful blessings on a regular basis. I love each of my three offspring. They independently delight me with who they are! Amazement fills me as I watch them navigate change and growth. I see myself in them and so much more, thank God! I recognize their father in them also and I know God has added HIS own bloodline to theirs too. The God contribution is ever unfolding and brings great joy to my heart. I love the men in their lives as well and am so thankful to know each one of them. God is at work in each one of us and is doing HIS good work in us. It is so comforting to know HE is with us. Life is rich and full for me. I have the things that matter the most. I have what money cannot buy. I have three beautiful daughters who still choose to be in relationship and to honor me. God is faithful and has answered this mother's prayer. Thank you, girls, for being who you are!

Too much for mere words!

I recently sent a card to a friend that said "sometimes the loss is just to big for words"....even that simple message could not convey the horrific shock of being told your husband would never be returning to your life. His life continues in that dimension we call heaven, but for those left behind his life ended before we were ready. I had this man's grandchildren with me for four days and they informed me they were ready for grandpa to come home from heaven. In their little two year old minds he has been gone long enough. We all face loss of some kind, the loss of a spouse, the loss of health, the loss of a vision or dream, the loss of a child when they close out Mom and Dad in rebellion, the loss of life as we thought it would be. In those desert seasons of our lives, God's faithfulness is sometimes realized in unexpected ways. A flower out of context in a sea of sand, a gentle word spoken in the middle of an argument, a neighbors smile, even an unexpected kindness from a total stranger. God is at work even when we cannot see HIM! Psalms 34: 1-4 says I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear thereof and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt HIS name together. I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. One of the greatest affects of loss is fear as we navigate unchartered waters, but God promises to deliver us. HE is faithful and worthy of our praise.

I need some new thoughts!

There are times when there is just nothing to say! Yet, as humans we find a way to open our mouths and fill the noiseless space. Yuk! Yuk! and double Yuk! We become a tinkling cymbal. The scripture calls those without love sounding brass and a tinkling cymbal. That is because without love our lives are empty. Love is the greatest virtue of all. God loved us first so HE gave us HIS only SON. I find it difficut sometimes to respond in a manner worthy of the great sacrifice and then I remember HIS love is based on HIM not on me. If I try to earn HIS love I am simply being religious....HE delights so much more when I simply bask in HIS great love. May you know the joy of HIS love today and may silence be sweet to your ears as you listen for HIS words of life.

P.S. more thoughts on John 21

As the days have passed and I have continued to meditate on John 21. I realized that in the midst of fleeing and simple survivor instincts the disciple found themselves on that early morning with the biggest catch of their lives. Isn't God amazing, HE shows up with an abundance in the middle of our chaos? I am always trying to plan for the harvest of God, being watchful and careful to plant all the seed I can....yet, I find the truth of Scripture is HE and HE alone gives the increase. God is busy on our behalf, making preparation to presnt HIMSELF to us at every opportunity. It is apparent to me that God is at work in our lives and that it is vital to our spiritual well-being to continue to trust HIM unequivocably. I want to trust....God help me with my lack of surrender! We sing "I Surrender All" but do we live it? What does all mean? Even our loved ones and our own lives. Do we lay down our lives even unto death....not if we have a choice! God must order the universe with HIS great wisdom, I certainly could not be trusted with the responsibility. I must lean on HIS divine character and nature. HE alone is good! I am looking for HIS abundance in this season of my life....not because of me, but because of who HE is!

Just my Thoughts?

I read a passage in John 21 this morning that I so readily identified with. The disciples are out in a boat on the lake fishing. It was following the death of Christ and in their grief they fled. The nets are empty after a whole night of toiling and a man yells from the shore line..."Do you have any fish?" no, they reply and to this HE says "Let your nets down on other side!" I am sure the disciples thought yeah, right, like there would be fish a boat's width away, but they obeyed and the results were staggering. Like so many of us who flee in our grief, Jesus shows up and asks us to do what may seem strange. I could not help but notice the disciples did not cop an attitude, they simply obeyed and then hauled their catch up to the shore where there were coals of fire ready. Jesus then says, "Come and Dine"....this is the third time the disciples have seen HIM since HIS death. I am sure the disciples were amazed by the results of their obedience to what seemed liked a ridiculous command, yet Jesus still calls out to us those same kind of instructions.....love your neighbor as yourself, forgive seventy times seventy, bless your enemy, and yet though you die, you will live. When we see HIM again....HE will be calling out to us "Come and Dine" at the banquet table of Heaven, Oh what a blessed hope we have. My prayer is that each of us are willing to hear the directive's of our loving Savior as HE walks along the shores of our lives.

What are thoughts?

I just read my son-in-law's first blog following the death of his father. I am struck by the simple but powerful acceptance of his love for flying. His father taught him to be a honorable man by modeling a life built around honesty, integrity and honor. I am confident grandpa's character will be handed down by his son to his grandsons. This afterall is the legacy we leave, a righteous man teaching his son to live righteously so he can teach his sons to live righteously. Grandpa Larry lives on in his son, his granddaughter, and his grandsons. We cherish the parts of him we see in each of them. May God's solace engulf those left behind and help them to carry on a lineage of righteousness.

I want to have good thoughts again!

It has been more than a week since I posted my last thoughts. It hardly seems possible that the days are running past. When death strikes, our world should stop and sort out the loss of the one we love but it doesn't. The clock keeps ticking and the days come and go. I am once again feeling the sucker punch of life! That does not mean that I am not aware of the ever present nearness of my God. I am aware that HE is omnipresent! I can trust HIM to be with my children in this season of loss, I can trust HIM to be with the shocked widow. I cannot help it...I don't want to have to trust HIM! I want HIM to somehow intervene in the insanity of events and change the outcome. The reality is this....I have to trust HIM! If I do not trust God there is no rhyme, no reason to any of our days here on planet earth. So, like the Psalmist I rehearse for myself....I am in anguish, yet you, Oh God, rescue me! YOU alone sustain me, YOU alone deliver me from the snares of the evil one. I do want to state that heaven received an honorable man that we miss more than words can describe. Heaven is richer, we are poorer, but it is our eternal hope to walk through the doors of Heaven and be greeted by those who made the trip earlier than we expected! Bless your Name, O Lord, maker of Heaven and Earth. YOU give and YOU take away. Bless your Name!