Even thinking can seem difficult!

This blog has become my journal...it seemed like just the right outlet for a frustrated writer. Now, I find myself wanting to hibernate. Do I really have to go on with the day to day thought processes? Life really makes no sense at all. We love, we hate, we laugh, we cry, we want stuff, we dispose of stuff...no wonder the Song of Solomon reflects on the folly of it all. There is only one constant lasting presence we can attach our lives to...it is a vibrant relationship with Almighty God! Everything else is fading away...and let me tell you the older I get the quicker the fading aspect seems to be. Oh, Lord, please cause us to be content in whatsoever state we find ourselves. May our joy be in you and you alone. We cannot even trust our own thoughts. Meet us in our moment of need. Your word declares you are our sufficiency. We are relying upon that truth.

Oh God, Cause my thoughts to be only of YOU!

There is no pain like watching your children suffer. It is so hard to see the grief of our children. The mind wants to question, the heart is screaming, and the flesh is overwhelmed with achiness that cannot be described. Sleep is fleeting at best. The days seem endless and yet life on planet earth continues on. The Bible is so accurate in its description of life here on earth...it is but a vapor. Last Friday, Larry was so very present in the lives of his family and on Saturday he was so present with his Heavenly Father and Elder Brother, Jesus. Our hearts want to rejoice with him, but are so burdened down with the grief of loss. Jesus knew this pain as He stood with Mary and Martha at the tomb of Lazarus. The Bible says HE wept. God Almighty, Maker of the Universe impart to those left behind your great comfort. May each one find their thoughts fixed on YOU, the author and the finisher of our faith. Only in YOU are our lives complete. We rehearse for ourselves your awesome nature on a regular basis so that we might continue on in this earthly race until you call each one of us into your literal presence! You are good, You are faithful, You do have a hope and a future for us, You do all things well, there is no shadow of turning with YOU, you are our peace, You are the light in our temporary darkness, You will never leave us or forsake us...we are not alone in our sorrow, You will continue to sing over us with joy, You will be faithful to the end and You alone reign in our lives. We submit to your will Oh God, cause our thoughts to be only of YOU!

24 hours later....

Within 24 hours of my last post, we received one of those middle of the night phone calls you hate to get. Our eldest's daughter's husband's father was killed in a airplane accident on the coast. Our youngest daughter lost her father-in-law in 2004 and the grief is enormous. We are once again mourning with our children and our friend, the faithful wife. We are praying that the body is recovered. My little granddaughter asked me... "aren't you glad grandpa is in heaven?" For him, unequivocably yes...for the wife, the children, the grandchildren, the sisters and brother, and the friends....NO! He was a very honorable man who loved the LORD and served him faithfully. It was a privilege to know him and to have our daughter marry his son. His character and integrity was evident to all who knew him. We are grateful to have shared grandchildren with him and know he lives on in each one of them. The twin boys were eager to be his constant shadow at the farm and his granddaughter adored him. We are back to the theme of this season of our lives...and that is ultimate trust in God Almighty. We ask that HIS peace would be rich in our extended family as they adjust to the unexpected change. God be merciful and pour your great love out on them...may they find themselves totally enveloped in your all sufficient grace.

What a beautiful day!

Today was beautiful. My grandchildren are in the next room sleeping, the beauty of the whole thing is that they spent the day with their auntie up the street. I had their mother's tires rotated at the local tire store and then vacumned out the range rover. I fixed Popa and I lunch and dinner the little twin boys came to our house fed, clean and ready for bed. Not to finish the day in ease I gave them jagged little hair cuts at their mother's request which required another shower for each. They are such little sweethearts. All week-end long they have both been saying "I love Nona most". Does it get any better than that? I think not! Let me just say that God is so delighted when we say "we love HIM most!" I love you Lord, the very most! I love you, MOST! God is more than good, HE is just and faithful, merciful and kind, loving and tenderhearted. I am grateful that our relationship assures me that HE loves me with great intensity. May you know HIS love more and more each day.

Thoughts of Communicating with my Maker!

I have been contemplating what it means to really communicate with God. Is it a once in a while thing, is it even something we chalk up to a daily activity? I think not! It is a lifestyle of making sure HE is involved in every second of my earthly existence. Some would beg to differ I am sure. However, for me it truly is about recognizing God is always in every aspect of my life so I am totally aware of HIS presence. The tricky part is to include HIM in the conversation that exists around every decision I make. We sometimes think because HE is unseen that HE is not really there. HE is there for everyone who knows HIM personally twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year. Praise HIS matchless name. HE is an immediate counselor, an immediate help in the time of need. I just breathe HIS name and HE demonstrates HIS availibility in my life. I can make room for open dialect or I can ignore HIS almighty wisdom....it is my choice. Today, I made some decisions without HIM, not much time as elapsed and I am disappointed in the outcome of my choices. These were not earth shattering decisions, to most of you they would seem trite and foolish; but to me it is about learning God is concerned about the smallest detail of my life. I have no trouble including HIM in the big details. My quest is to be led by the very Spirit of God in every aspect of life. May you be encouraged to find God always available to your cries. HIS grace is sufficient and available to all who ask. Take care and follow hard after God, HE cares for you!

Who's interested in thoughts?

Some days I just want to be clever. I want all my thought to find their way onto the page in a professional writer type of way. Today is one of those days when it would be nice if my writing inspired even me! The pain in my left leg and ankle is 8 on the scale of 1 to 10. I am not particularly fond of the pain scale and yet find it interesting that I can identify the pain in my leg accurately with it. Walking a couple of different times today is the culprit. The titanium rod feels like is coming out the botton of my foot. All the wonders of modern medicine and my leg still screams in pain after 3 years and 84 sessions of Physical Therapy. Won't heaven be wonderful? No more pain, no more sorrow, no more dishes, no more laundry, and no more bills to pay. I did enjoy the embrace of two of my grandchildren today. I found a wonderful revelation in the book of Mark and celebrated the goodness of God in my life with Popa. Today is not a clever or professional day in my life it is simply a day that God provided for me to experience HIS love. I told HIM I loved HIM today and HE told me HE loved me! It was so satisfying. My prayer is that Jesus find HIS way into your life every day. Blessings!

Thoughts are far and few between!

Life is often much more hectic than we plan for. I hardly have time to think these days let alone record my thoughts for others. The more determined I am to bring discipline into my daily routine the more harried I become. I have truly turned into "one of those" Nonas. God is gracious and kind, HE never gives up on me (or you for that matter). I am taking some time to simply rest from the busyness of life and focus more on the blessed Savior of my soul. Popa has had more energy this week and the strength of God was made mannifest in his own weakness this week. Thank you my awesome friends for your targeted prayer....keep up the good work. We had lunch today with some old friends. We first met in 1971 at the telephone company in Myrtle Creek, Oregon. It was a delight to share a meal together and then take a ride in the beautiful sunshine to visit our friend's mother's birthplace. A old and well maintianed farm house out along the McKenzie River. A lot of history has been recorded about the old homestead. As I contemplated this natural history...I was stirred to remember the history of a living God who sent HIS son to die on a rugged cross so that I might know freedom. My heart swelled with pride as the mere thought of my Savior's name; HE is not only my Savior, but the Bible records for me that HE is also my elder brother. What an awesome family tree I have! God is currently looking for those who would like to be adopted into HIS family. If you are interested please contact me through my comments link, I would love to introduce you to HIM!

Surprise - I can still have thoughts of my own!

It really has been eight days since I last posted a entry on my blogspot. This seems appropriate considering I made a commitment to blog at least three times a week. Why is that life seems more challenging in the midst of our making commitments? A couple of days last week I spent in Portland helping daughter #2 finish tiling the downstairs shower. Actually, daughter #1 was the helper as daughter #2 had school and work to attend to. Saturday was spent with a friend who has found himself contained in a place where they let you have visitors only during visiting hours. It was bittersweet, his hopes were dashed this past month and he finds himself facing uncertain waters. His emotions were more visible than usual and tears filled his eyes several times during our visit. Sunday was church in the a.m. and I taught a class on Sunday evening. All the grandchildren (5) were here on Monday, Tuesday the two little boys up the street spent the afternoon with us. Wednesday Popa had a couple of epidural injections done on his back at the surgery center and today we went to see the retinal specialist in hope of finding Popa's vision was improving. His eyes have not improved, however, they have not gotten worse; it will take about a month for Popa to wean himself off of the eyedrops. In four months the specialist will scan Popa's eyes again...in the meantime, we are going to order some new eye glasses. Popa and I also started eating healthy foods this week and are engaging in an organice lifestyle...another one of the commitment things we hope works out. Oh yeah, we met a lady from China last Thursday on our way to Portland, she teachs English at a university in Beijing. It was so rewarding to hear her talk about the avenues the Lord has provided for her to share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. China is strongly calling our names and we are planning on making a trip there in September of this year. I was reminded this morning that writing is something I should be doing on a daily basis. Pray for me in this venture. May your hearts be refreshed today as you reflect on the commitment Jesus has made to you.